A Funeral in Calape

Last Sunday, we heard of a rather tragic event:  a 21-year-old member of the branch here had suddenly passed away.  Mira had had a health problem for some time, which had been managed, and she spent the weekend in Cebu with 500 other young adults at a great YSA conference.  After getting back on Saturday evening, she needed to be taken to the hospital, where she died of coronary arrest.

On Sunday evening, friends and family gathered at the home of Mira's family, to visit, sing hymns, and just be together in support of this beautiful family of parents and their seven other grown children.  Mira's body was there in the house, in her casket, where it remained until her funeral.  The casket was sealed but had a small window in the top, where you could see her face.

In many cases, in the Philippines, the remains of a loved one are kept in the home for several days before burial.  There may be a constant stream of visitors during this time, which is called a wake. Latter-day Saints observe a shorter wake.  In this case, it was three days.  On Tuesday evening, there was a gathering in their home for what they called a "compassionate service" . . . which it was, actually.  Just not in the usual Mormon sense of the term, I guess.  This was comprised of hymns, prayers, and talks, followed by a meal of pancit noodles.  I'd brought a batch of oatmeal-raisin cookies, which were a huge hit - - anything home-baked is, because most people here don't have ovens.

On Wednesday at noon, people gathered again at the home of Mira's family.  They walked or rode in tricycles to the church, following the van which carried the coffin.  The funeral was much like any American LDS funeral service, with hymns, prayers, and talks.  Much of it was spoken in Bisaya, but what I did understand spoke of death as a necessary part of our eternal path, temporary in nature, and of our hope of eternal families and all that's been promised because of Jesus' atonement.  After the closing prayer, several minutes were allowed for the family to take one more look at their daughter and sister and to say their goodbyes.

Then there was another procession, this time to the cemetery.  We've seen so many funeral processions in the Philippines, sometimes two or three in a day, but this was the first time we've been part of one.  The cemetery's not far from our church, but we drove to it and around it, to a new little area that's been opened up and is still quite rough.  This is the area for non-Catholic burials.  A few years ago, when the first LDS person died in this town, the family was refused the right to bury their deceased in the municipal cemetery because they weren't Catholic.  (There's not much of a boundary between church and state here.)  After being shown the law in print, requiring the municipality to provide a burial place for everyone, the mayor opened a new area in the cemetery.  That's where Mira was laid to rest.

At first glance, a Filipino cemetery looks like a miniature city, with graves stacked to varying heights.

Some older areas of the cemetery.

Still showing signs of damage from an earthquake in 2013.  These large blocks in the foreground are actually stacked grave vaults.  Families will make the most of a grave site by stacking two or three family members' vaults in the same site.

A canopy was set up in case of rain, but it didn't rain that day, though it was cloudy.  The grave had been dug ahead of time, by family members, and lined with concrete blocks, forming a vault.  The coffin was lowered into place with ropes, and flowers tossed in.  The grave was then dedicated by a local priesthood leader.  

Right after the dedication, the men of the family and some friends went to work,  The burial of a loved one is a very hands-on experience.  They laid slats across the opening, followed by sheet metal and rebar.  Meanwhile, others were mixing up cement right on the ground nearby, and that was taken, a bucketful at a time, and poured and smoothed out over the entire surface of the grave.  A headstone will be added later.

The branch president is a carpenter and managed much of this process.

While this was going on, which took just a little while, drinks and sandwiches were passed around, and a few women and girls sang some hymns.

What a sweet act of service all this was, to this dear young sister who'd passed away, and to her family.  I guess you can pay to have the burial completed for you, if you have the money, but most people here don't.  But we found it very meaningful and personal, anyway, to do this service yourself for your loved one.